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Are we in control, or do we just amble between an endless string of predetermined events and happenings?
What is of our own making, what is chance, and what is coincidence?
When you make a plan, God laughs.....or so they say.
But how do we decide between right and left and yes or no?
Any answers, Universe?
On a postcard please, or a tweet or text.
Sometimes it would be really good to know.
1963 - 2009
Simply brilliant
Somehow a month went by since my last post - How did that happen?
January arrived and is now almost departed.
A new year. a new president, a new post.
There is so much doom and gloom about the economy right now, the politics of the middle-east, and all the bad and sad things about the world we live in. And it's wet and cold.
And then a plane crash lands on the Hudson river on a quiet January afternoon.
It flies in like some great white dove, full of peace and hope.
And a new president enters the White House.
And suddenly things seem a whole lot better. Improvement.
The impossible becomes possible.
Thank you, Captain.
I know I said I wouldn't post for a few weeks....well I lied.
I saw the singer Maria Friedman in concert tonight and something she said sent me blog-eyed.
Maria was talking about Sondheim's Sunday In The Park With George and Seurat's relationship with his muse Dot, who she played in the London production of the musical.
"George couldn't commit to Dot, he was an artist....sound familiar?"
Yes, it does. I spent seven years with an actor who couldn't commit to me because of his art.
And I spent seven years trying to get him to commit. Like Dot I should have moved on.
It's seven years since we parted and he died unexpectedly earlier this summer.
So why do we try to get people to commit to us when they are simply incapable of it?
There is the lover and the loved and sometimes we lovers just keep on loving too long.
So many years trying to create something that could never be anything other than what it was.
Art isn't the only thing that isn't easy.
Happy Holidays if you are out there and reading this.....Is anyone reading this?
I think of this blog right now as being in trial form.
I need to shape and mould it more before going live officially.
It is still a baby blog that needs changing !
I probably wont be blogging over the next couple of weeks, so in the meantime I wish you peace and happiness.
Take a little time to enjoy your friends and family.
Take a little time to enjoy the world.
Take a little time to enjoy yourself.
I am re-posting something I wrote a couple of weeks ago. It resonates with me & I wanted to share it again.
I remember being twenty years old and walking through London in December in the rain. A similar evening to tonight. I was confused and trying to understand myself and the world around me. The rain was cold on my face, big drops that felt like ice .
I stopped to buy some jelly beans to cheer myself up. They were heart shaped and fruit flavoured. I remember walking along and eating them in great handfuls.
The rain was getting heavier and I was taking bigger helpings of the beans.
Non water proof shoes, wet socks, cold toes, heavy heart.
Heart shaped and fruit flavoured the jelly beans roll and somehow they're good for your soul......
The words came into my head from nowhere, but I repeated them to myself as i walked. Like a mantra, heart shaped and fruit flavoured the jelly beans roll.......
And they were, really good for my soul. Because as I ingested them I knew that everything was going to be ok. Their sweetness and shape, the hopeful taste of my future.
I always think of jelly beans as soul food now. Try some and see. Heart shaped and fruit flavoured recommended for maximum benefit. See label for responsible daily dose.
Somehow, they're good for your soul.
Last night I dreamt that bombs were falling down around me. Running through the debris with my work colleagues, trying to predict where the next one would fall from. I was very very afraid.
When I woke up I thought about the madness and inhumanity of dropping bombs on anyone. How can we do it? I thought of the bombs we drop in times of war and the smaller metaphorical bombs we freely drop on each other on a daily basis.
I pondered on the victims of these bombs and paused and thought of the enormity of it all and the possibilities for peace. I say the word out loud. PEACE.
The crumpled duvet still fraught with the terror of last night's dreams.
I get up and make myself some strong black coffee and a slice of toast smothered in sweet scarlet coloured strawberry jam. And life goes on.
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